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Michelle the Hipster by VenaCide Michelle the Hipster :iconvenacide:VenaCide 1 0
Literature
Dragon's Downfall-A Love Story
One day, my brother was upset over some girl he stopped being friends with. He had to resume being her friend when school started, so harmony could remain in the group. So to cheer him up, I asked him to tell me a future-story of how he conquered the feat that is Leah!
...Well that didn't work. His story ended with her kicking him in the shin, and telling him to fuck off. But would I let MY brother go down that way? Of course not.
Enter "The Dragon's Downfall"...
~~~.~~~
Kat says: u can has continue! by ME!
Markles says: I can usually read people. The only thing I can come up with is she's not 'people'
Kat says: U CAN HAS CONTINUE.
                And then, as the last syllable leaves her mouth, she sharply inhales.
                You look behind you to see what's happened, and there it is!
      &
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:iconvenacide:VenaCide 2 5
Literature
Secret Number 78
When I woke up this morning, for a split second I actually forgot what day it was. When I remembered of course, I felt my heart fill with dread. But not just any dread, oh no. This was the day I looked forward to ever year. The only day in fact.
I got out of bed already feeling it. The emptiness.
As I started the coffee pot, I imagined what it would be like. "I think we'd be married by now." I said to no one. I walked through my empty apartment, to the hall closet, and stood on my toes to reach the top shelf. I felt around until my fingertips found a shoe-box - cardboard and worn - and coaxed it down.
"Do not open before 9/17, I mean it!" it said, written in thick permanent marker. The top was held down with several layers of duct tape, one of which secured a box-cutter to hack them away. Oh yes, it was a ceremony. I hugged it to my chest as I made my way back to the kitchen, humming a song that I could only hum today. I set the box down on my wooden table and poured a cup of coffee be
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Literature
About a Girl
Some girls are like flowers
      bright, with flashy colors
But not mine
Struck from a match
      she floats above the flame
For you she twists
      spirals into the air
Sensuous and fleeting, you inhale
      breathe her in
But only as long as she lets you
She warms you
      tickles your insides
Poisoning you in the most pleasant way
And choking you when she's done
You exhale her and,
      she dances around you
Smoke on the water
      water to drown in
With each breath
      she ebbs and flows
Sinuous with every gasp
      always out of reach
My girl,
      tendrils of complication
Spinning me into
      sweet uncertainty
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:iconvenacide:VenaCide 3 15
Literature
Secret Number 325
I tried my best to look nervous.
That was how the rest of them look, so I should try and fit in, I thought.
The waiting room was cold, like the frozen food section of the grocery store. "Shit." I muttered, a little too loud for the sanctity of the room. Everyone turned to glare at me, broken from their private spell of terror. How dare I, they seemed to say. Here I was, forgetting about grocery shopping when I should be focused on the matter at hand.
So I did the only thing I could do; shut up and look around. The walls of the waiting room were painted a dull pink and covered with motivational posters. From every angle a fuzzy animal stared at me in some sugary sweet, "am I not I adorable?" pose. As if all the problems of the world could be solved by uplifting baby animals.
No, furry orange kitten, I thought. I will not "hang in there" I am going to sit in this pastel meat locker and watch the clock spin. I am going to watch the husbands cradle their sick wives, wives hold th
:iconVenaCide:VenaCide
:iconvenacide:VenaCide 1 6
Literature
Secret Number 247
The first time I saw that little pink plus sign, my heart dropped to my stomach, and I threw up for the thirs time that morning. I convinced myself it was just a dumb piece of plastic, nothing to worry about, right?
At least, until both my clothes and the clinic confirmed it.
To be honest, I expected my parents to be pretty pissed off. I expected my mom's face to go tight with anger, to get all red with the very idea. I expected my fatherto be disappointed, to sulk in a corner ro something. What I didn't expect were the hugs, the smiles, and the promises of support. We all stood in the kitchen, me being very confused.
"Aren't you guys, um... you know, mad or something?" I asked. But oh no, they said. Life was a gift, and by god they'd be just delighted to have a new one around.
How was I supposed to react? 'Sorry, I'd rather not'? I had at least hoped my boyfriend  would take my side.
Instead, he took me ring shopping.
At our engagement party, all my friends gushed at me. "Yo
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:iconvenacide:VenaCide 2 2
Literature
Permanent Holiday
Looking back all I see
Are your eyes, staring back at me
But standing in this lonely breeze
I picture you out on the seas.
No backward glances would you look
Instead you would swim down in the brook
And as I spoke at your last wake
A permanent holiday you did take.
No flowers of yours will ever die
And you will always have a summer sky
Oh the fun you shall have in your head
Instead of worms, because you are dead.
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:iconvenacide:VenaCide 0 2
Literature
Callooh Callay
Callooh, Callay, let's run away
Until no longer is the day
Black as night and black as coal,
We'll run into we lose control
And there we'll stay, callooh, callay,
But when we find a better way,
Into the shadows we will fall,
Until the world forgets us all.
:iconVenaCide:VenaCide
:iconvenacide:VenaCide 1 0
Literature
See Your Shadow: Amber Baker 1
Chapter One
One day, completely without warning, the world ended. No battles, no valiant attempts to save it, the world just ended. At the time, I was a gas station clerk in Marro Creek, Tennessee. Had I been somewhere more populated, maybe I would've known sooner, but I'd probably be dead. Well, depending on your definition of dead.
You know that weird kid you sat next to in 4th grade? Dead. The telecaster for your local news? Dead. Your friends, your parents, your fucking postman. All dead, but only for a little while. Imagine everyone you ever knew, bloody, torn to pieces, and chasing toward you with only one goal in mind, eating your guts. This was what many people woke up to on September 24th, 1991. I on the other hand, was on my last hour of a double shift.
The sun was just coming up when a green pickup truck pulled in to the parking lot. A 40 something year-old woman came in coughing and hacking into the most disgusting rag I'd ever seen. She staggered around the isles fo
:iconVenaCide:VenaCide
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ID 01 by VenaCide ID 01 :iconvenacide:VenaCide 0 9

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Activity


The stated above is a blog written by a lovely woman named Jenna Hatfield, also known for her other blog, Stop Drop and Blog.

I only read the first though, which I stumbled upon (literally, the stumbleupon button through Firefox) about a year ago. The blog focuses more or less on Jenna's relationship with her daughter, Munchkin. Jenna was already struggling to prepare for the baby when she fell extremely ill. Being put on bed rest for the last three months, she gave her daughter up for adoption at birth. While they see each other somewhat regularly and all parents/children have a close relationship, issues do arise.

This was the first article of hers that I read. (thechroniclesofmunchkinland.co…)


The Woman Upstairs is one of Jenna's more literary pieces, and it resonated in my mind for days after I read it. It reminded me of how conflicting the distances of people really are.

How the downstairs neighbor you're keeping up might already be awake.
How the grandfather you chatted with really isn't, and a conversation you'll forget within the week could haunt someone for years.
How the woman upstairs might be suffering from an active baby, or maybe from the sorrow and guilt of losing it.

So for the next couple weeks, I worked my way through the blog in its entirety. It wasn't very long until I hit June 8th, 2006. (thechroniclesofmunchkinland.co…)

Ffffffuuuuuu-

But too late, I was already there! This was about a year after it happened to me the first time, so I was still very confronted by the issue.
Well I'm still very confronted about the issue, so let me clarify.
This was right after I managed to avoid being committed, and I told my mother about it in one of my Bursts O' Truth.

I don't know what I was thinking. This is the same woman who yelled at me for "ruining her marriage" with her creeper husband. Two years after the fact. In her new boyfriend's house. That I'd been visiting in, because I was trying to make nice with her for the sake of my sister's daughter. I walked out of the house that morning swearing to never speak to her again, so what the hell was I thinking?

Okay, that's a silly question. I moved back in, things were... Well, the same, but I was managing. I could work around it. That's why I told her. I thought that maybe she'd grown up enough.

So we're sitting outside just after sunset, where it was dark enough she couldn't see my face, dark enough I felt safe. The mosquitoes were swarming back in. Typical Florida night. And I say, "I feel like I should tell you something. I don't want to, but I think you should know."
"Why? You don't want to."
"I don't know Mom, jesus. It's important."
"Okay, fine. So tell me then."

And for some asinine reason, I told her the whole damn thing. I told her. And she called me a liar.

So can you really blame me when I didn't tell her right away when I thought I was pregnant? I wasn't taking any chances this time. This time, if anything went wrong, goddamn it I was going to have some proof.
Granted, I think she and the father were the only ones who didn't know. Which was really, really stupid of me, I know. But hey, I'm a stupid girl when it comes to my own goings.

This is where Jenna comes back in. After her miscarriage, she faced quite a bit of opposition from the internet community on top of the things she already heard about Munchkin. One argument struck a chord with me. It was something to the affect of, "You didn't even know you were pregnant, you have no right to feel any loss."

Well my, my. Hello there, foreshadow. As I'm reading this In the Midst of Things, I really didn't think about it. As usual, the dramatic irony of the situation only settled in after the fact. The only thing I remember think was that it was a disturbing claim to make, and that woman must be going through something equally horrible. That or she deserved to. But you know, I was very surprised to learn exactly how common that line of thought is!

Do you know how many people have told me similar things in the past two years?

Well I didn't really know for sure, so it wasn't a big deal.
It was all in my head.
Besides, what was I really going to do?

Jesus, I don't know! I did the best I could manage under the circumstances, it's not my fault that I'm apparently a ticking time bomb. You know my doctor had a waiting list of like a month? I don't have a car and I live in a swamp, what am I gonna do, teleport to a goddamn clinic?

Forget about a lack of sympathy. How about the simple denial, even blame.

I've heard of a lot of older women having fertility issues who get angry over teenage pregnancy. "Argh, all these damn kids and their screwing, babies coming out like Star Trek spinoffs, bah humbug!"

I know a girl. She's had three miscarriages in the past two years. The first two weren't natural, and the third she blamed on me. She just turned seventeen.
I know a girl who tried to get pregnant for seven years before she managed to get past eight weeks. She was twenty-three when she got her first.
I know a girl who got pregnant on accident and had a friend punch her until she lost it. Now that she wants a child, she's not able. She was a year above me in middle school.


My point is, it's more and more seeming like no one can do it. If someone told me that babies really did drop out of the sky, I would give it a moment of consideration. It's more and more seeming like torture to even try. I wonder what's going to happen to me the next time. If there is a next time that is, which somehow I doubt.

Two years ago on the fourth of July, I woke up covered in blood.
Five days ago was my due date. Supposed to be. Should have been.

Jenna's dead set convinced that the baby she lost was her little girl, her forgiveness for giving up Munchkin. While she had a son before and a son after, she'll never be able to have another child. Munchkin will be her only daughter, and she gave her up. She has to live with that every day, good or bad.

And so do I.
  • Listening to: Before the Dawn by Evanescence
  • Reading: Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire

deviantID

VenaCide
Katrina Lately
United States
Hi! I'm Kat, previously LolitaDeNoir on here. And then I took French, and realized that was horrific grammar.

I'm sixteen, obnoxious, cynical, and terrifyingly enough, someone's mom. I have a million stories, and I intend to tell them all.

Current Residence: Orange City
Favourite genre of music: Not... Country...
Operating System: Windows Vista
MP3 player of choice: iPod Nano
Skin of choice: I rather like all skin, thanks.
Interests

Comments


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:iconertank:
ertank Featured By Owner May 28, 2011
thank you so much for the fav.
grazie
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:icontheaphelion:
TheAphelion Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011  Student Photographer
Happy Birthday! :D
:glomp: :party:
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:iconbaronautumn:
BaronAutumn Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fave :D
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:iconbroadwaygeek:
Broadwaygeek Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010
thanks for the support :heart:
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:iconlunaticstar:
LunaticStar Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2010
Thank you for the fave! I hope you'll continue to read on in the story. :D
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:iconhappysmileygal:
happysmileygal Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for the fave :D
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:iconbravinto:
BRAVINTO Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug:
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:iconvenacide:
VenaCide Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2010
Why thank you :)
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:iconbaronautumn:
BaronAutumn Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the watch. :)
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:iconvenacide:
VenaCide Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2010
Least I could do!
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